It’s the first time back at the Riverside since the Cardiff detritus and it’s hard not to feel slightly nervous. Boro have never revelled in expectation and this current side seem as bad as any previous line-up, at times almost scared of their own fans. Despite two straight home defeats, there’s no escaping the fact that a home win is expected.On the one hand, this really should be straightforward. Derby have collected just ten points all season. They look set to steal Sunderland’s hard fought points record with something to spare, having already racked up a spectacular goal difference of minus fifty. The Rams are a team of record-breaking ineptitude, without a win in 24 (!) Premier League games since beating Newcastle for their only win all season.
It’s hard not to feel for the poor sods who’ve been forking out a surprisingly princely sum to watch their team get clobbered week after week. Paul Jewell’s good humour disappeared several months ago and he gets paid to watch the buggers. Still, its hard not to see why considering the motley bunch of oafs lining up for Derby at the moment.
The keeper Roy Carroll has the air of a man serving a forfeit after losing a drunken bet. His resigned manner can be explained by a defence usually marshalled by the lumbering Darren Moore and the veteran Alan Stubbs, currently injured. ‘Veteran’ in the sense that I’d long since assumed he’d found a permanent home calcified in the Goodison Park penalty area.
Things get little better further forward in a midfield manned by pantomime villain Robbie Savage and again missing Giles Barnes. Barnes is widely touted as the Rams’ best player, a dubious honour thought that may be.
An attack sporadically led by the disfigured goblin Robert Earnshaw really should be no problem for Huth and Wheater, both on form and heading for international duty.
In short, they’re utter, utter cack. And therein lies the problem.
We shouldn’t forget that three of Sunderland’s meagre tally of 15 points came at the Riverside, nor that Reading recently won here on the back of eight straight defeats. To take potential champions to within five minutes of defeat on their own turf then fold at home to the team destined to become the Premier League’s worst ever would not be a surprise - it would be Boro.
Cardiff was a crushing disappointment - a dispiriting display devoid of wit or resilience. The feeling lingers that it was a Wolves or an Orient moment for a new generation of fans. It was quite enough ‘typical Boro’ behaviour for the time being.
Suspension and injury respectively should prevent Southgate being tempted to throw Mido or Alves into the mix. The reunion of Tuncay and Jeremie Aliadiere up front was encouraging at the Emirates and they will hopefully be allowed to continue their partnership. Aliadiere may have shown the finishing prowess of a sedated Peter Davenport for much of the season but in recent games the goals have started to flow. The pace and movement offered by these two must negate any fears over a lack of physical strength at this time.
The centre of midfield remains a major concern though. Boateng’s colossal efforts at Arsenal merit his continued selection, while Shawky and Cattermole have both put in tidy shifts given their chance. With Rochemback suspended and Arca horribly out of form, more creative choices are thin on the ground.
This is a crucial step on the road to redemption for Southgate and his players. Stumble now and you have to wonder if they’ll ever make it.
Iggy Pop Barker
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