It’s close season 2014, MFC have just won the FA Cup for the first time averaging over 3 goals a game and are planning to extend the Riverside to a 42,000 capacity due to the extended waiting list for Season Tickets. Gibbo & Lamby are sat going through the submitted tenders for the building works when Gibbo’s intercom buzzes……………..

Gibbo’s Secretary - Mr Gibson, I have a Mr Keane from G.Y.P.O. Construction asking to speak to you

Gibbo - Mr Keane, G.Y.P.O. never heard of him or them……………..anyway put him through

Gibbo and Lamby look at each other with confusion

Gibbo - Hello this is Gibbo, how can I help you ?

Keane - Be jebus, ma man Gibbo, how tha feckin’ hell arr ya ?

Gibbo - I’m very well thanks. Do I actually know you ?

Keane - Do ya know me, do you know me !!!…………..

Gibbo - I thought I asked the question ?

Keane - Me and ma partner, Mr Quinn were the gaffa’s at that football club up tha road from ya………

Gibbo - Roy Keane !! This is Roy Keane !?!?!?

Keane - tha very man himself

Gibbo turns to Lamby

Gibbo - Lamby it’s Roy Keane

Lamby - mutters thieving b*stard

Gibbo - So Roy what the hell happened after your third successive relegation in 2011, I always wondered what happened to you

Keane - Well ya see Gibbo, aftar the attendance fell below 5000 and even a 44 year old Gary Speed wouldn’t sign for us, Mr Quinn decided to sell off the site to a major supermarket chain

Gibbo - Major supermarket chain ? But I thought they built a Netto ??

Keane - Tat they did, tat they did. Fantastic bargains at everyday prices I tell ya

Gibbo - And wasn’t their an inquiry into the way the construction works were awarded and carried out ?
Keane - Tat their was, tat their was, but we were cleared of any blame for the cars sinking in the tarmac on the opening day

Gibbo - But I thought the company who built that Netto were called S.M.B. Builders

Keane - Tat they were, that they were

long pause

Gibbo - So anyway where is Mr Quinn these days ?

Keane - He is sorting out a delivery of the black stuff at the moment

Gibbo - Guinness ?

Keane - Noooo, tarmac yer ejit

Gibbo - starts chuckling I bet his disco pants are shagged now. Anyway what can I do for you Roy ?

Keane - Well I was wondering if you looked at my tender for the extension works at your fine football stadium Mr Gibson ?

Gibbo - No not yet, why ?

hands quote from G.Y.P.O. to Lamby

Keane - Well I can assure you of a very cheap price and if you say yes today I’ll re-tarmac your drive fer notting Mr Gibson, if yer know what I mean

Gibbo - Ah I seeeee, hands lighter to lamby Can I come back to you Roy

<”whoosh” from burning tender in background> 

Keane - Not a problem Gibbo, not a problem, tank ya for ya time

Gibbo - Bye Roy

Gibbo presses intercom

Gibbo - If that gentleman rings back can you tell him we’ve moved please.