You’re Only As Good As Your Last Game: The 2007/2008 review (part 3)March
From the highs of playing crap but beating Sheffield United to the lows of playing crap and losing to Reading in a matter of days. The Biscuitmen arrived at the Riverside on a run of eight successive defeats while a home win would just about secure Boro’s stay in the top division for another year. Who didn’t see this one coming then?
Still, James Harper’s injury time winner was long forgotten the following weekend as Teesside was seduced by the Magic of the FA Cup. Only mid-table Championship outfit Cardiff City stood between Boro and a semi-final date at Wembley. Excitement turns into stomach-gnawing expectation the day before as Portsmouth emerge with an inexplicable 1-0 win at Old Trafford. The googling for London hotels goes into overdrive when Chelsea slump to hilarious defeat at Barnsley. It is the best chance the club will ever have to life the FA Cup. Who didn’t see this one coming too?
Despite a full 70 minutes to make amends for early goals from Whittingham and Johnson, Boro fail to add to their solitary shot on target. Gutless. Witless. Spineless. Scores of hotel rooms booked in vain. Perhaps the single most devastating day since Elland Road 1997.
Things couldn’t get much worse from here. A point won at Villa would be three were it not for another abysmal performance from Steve Bennett. Fortune proves elusive at Arsenal again as Boro come within five minutes of a scarcely credible double over the Gunners. Jeremie Aliadiere has a sweet finish for Tuncay’s cross to silence the Emirates, usually such a hotbed of vibrant vocal support. However, with time running out, Arsenal are incorrectly awarded a corner and Kolo Toure’s header squirts beyond Schwarzer and Taylor on the line. Mido manages a late cameo and is sent off for kicking Gael Clichy in the head. This is without doubt the most athletic feat of his first season on Teesside.
Back at the Riverside for the first time since Cardiff, Boro are fortunate to come across at team worse than mid-table Championship standard. Robert Earnshaw misses inexplicably to spurn a point for Derby. Tuncay’s goal seals another important but hugely unconvincing victory over a fellow struggler.
A better performance is not rewarded at Stamford Bridge. Deservedly trailing to a Ricardo Carvalho header after an insipid first half, Boro pepper the Chelsea goal in the closing moments. Afonso Alves hits the frame of the goal (twice), Wheater once and Aliadiere blazes high and wide from underneath the crossbar but somehow Cudicini’s goal remains unbleached.
April
When Boro’s bete noire Cristiano Ronaldo puts Manchester United ahead in the opening ten minutes at the Riverside, another miserable afternoon seems certain. Yet, in a display of uncharacteristic fight and competency, Boro roar back. Alves finally breaks his duck with an accomplished one-on-one finish before bending a peach past van der Sar to claim the lead. Despite Rooney’s equaliser, this spirited display helps restore some of the faith so battered by the Cardiff debacle.
Another point follows at Tottenham despite a Jonathan Grounds own goal after Downing’s speculative effort deflects past Cerny. Once again this led to a chance to secure safety against lowly opposition at the Riverside. After Al-Habsi somehow resists an early deluge of Boro shots, the game reverts depressingly to type. Bolton’s winner is as unpleasant and inevitable as the meeting of Gavin McCann’s eyebrows.
Boro’s best efforts to remain embroiled in the relegation picture continue at Sunderland. Tuncay’s opener is cancelled out by Higginbotham’s header before Chopra embarrasses Wheater to put Sunderland ahead. Another goal for Alves restores parity but when Brad Jones comes flapping at an injury time corner, the ball flies past him via a combination of Pogatetz and Murphy’s foreheads. “We’ve only ourselves to blame, we’ve lost concentration again,” laments Julio Arca. “We’ve switched off like that too many times”. Well quite.
May
After a dismal few months, Boro finish the season in suitably contrary fashion. Headers from Chris Riggott and Tuncay mean Premier League is finally secured against a Portsmouth side who may as well have donned their Wembley suits on the pitch. The final game of the season is a surreal affair as Sven’s Manchester City arrive on Teesside with everyone’s favourite deposed dictator lurking menacingly in the background. The City back four is as frozen as Thaksin’s assets when a long ball is looped over the top for Tuncay. Richard Dunne is sent off for his attempts to halt the Turk and any semblance of resistance from City goes with him. Downing converts the ensuing penalty and Alves adds a stylish second before the break.
After half time, the trickle of goals becomes a deluge. Downing’s spectacular volley takes Boro to three goals in a game for the first time all season. Alves completes his hat trick while there are rare goals for Aliadiere and Adam Johnson. The pick of the bunch is a ludicrous free kick from Fabio Rochemback. After nearly three years of peppering the North Stand with his ambitious set pieces, Rocky finally finds the top corner. He’s released the next day.
Iggy Pop Barker