Gareth Southgate has always seemed liked such a sensible young man. Polite, articulate and the owner of a series of equally smart tank tops. Yet behind the rugged good looks and the steadfast refusal to blink, there’s lies a man with huge watermelons for balls. A manager lives or dies and his judgement and this summer Southgate’s decision-making has been brave, even reckless.
The goalkeeping debate has divided opinion all summer. In one camp, there are those who argue its idiocy to go into a season with no experienced goalkeeper and Brad Jones terrifyingly close to the first team. In the other, there’s Gareth. I hope we’re all wrong.
The decision to sell Luke Young is a little easier to understand. £6m is very good money for a full-back pushing 30 and there is little point in keeping players who do not want to wear the shirt. Yet, I can’t help but feel we could have put up more a fight. Anthony Vickers made a good point in the Gazette this week when he said “you shouldn’t measure players in what they’re worth to Aston Villa…you have to measure them in what they’re worth to you“. What price can you put on a settled defence?
Replacing Young is easier said than done. It seems likely half the money will be spent on recruiting the unconvincing Justin Hoyte as a replacement. The concise opinion of a Gunner I know runs as follows: “he’s proper dog shit, can’t defend, can’t cross, can’t dribble, poor header of the ball etc.”. The “etc” seems to imply that the modern telecommunications industry has yet to provide sufficient means to adequately describe Hoyte’s ineptitude. That has to be a concern.
Thankfully, things look a little better further forward. Stewart Downing’s suitors look like they’ve been repelled, a challenge which is only going to grow with each passing window. There finally seems a few choices on the opposite flank and the option to take a more fluid approach to the formation - Tuncay, Aliadiere and Emnes all seem capable of playing in a range of positions, even if its unlikely any of them will break into double figures for the season.
That role will be saved for Afonso Alves and the newly toned Mido. Alves seems a safe bet to become our first 20 a season man since Ravanelli but I’m particularly intrigued to see how Mido gets on this year. In between eating pies and kicking Arsenal players in the head, Mido did still find time to show hints of his class last year. The Egyptian has made a career out of false dawns - the number of European clubs willing to take a gamble is dwindling with every summer. Much like his manager, its surely now or never for Mido.
This week’s opponents…Tottenham
Arriving at the Riverside on Saturday with typically measured optimism are Tottenham and their 3,800 fans, all with eyes on 4th place. Their best players have buggered off to join the Champions League elite and the new manager has mostly replaced them with a selection of slight foreign teenagers. Quite why they expect it to be different to every other year is not abundantly clear.
Expectations for an entertaining game should be high. Spurs scored freely last year but showed a commendable commitment to hapless defending. Even rescuing Jonathan Woodgate from idly picking his nose on the half way line as Man City/Everton/Villa/West Ham ran amok amongst the Boro defence didn’t solve their problems.
With our own backline looking none too convincing either and a good blend of exciting attacking talent on show (plus Darren Bent), expect high-scoring farce.
Iggy Pop Barker