Not_Lawro, week two, tales from topiagraphic oceans
by Not Lawro on August 21st, 2008

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Well what a terrible week it’s been weather wise. Too much rain to go out and frolic. Mind you the drainage out the back is so good the garden looks totally dry. Too bad as I like to see Stevie G with a little moistness in the groin area. Also the shrubbery doesn’t like too much water so I have to stroke his bush to keep it looking his best. (steady!!!!!: Ed)

I cannot start the front garden either. I have the plans and they look fantastic but I need to start working on it soon otherwise it will never get done.

Anyway the Premiership is back now and a few surprise results last week show that it will be a while before things start to settle down. Here’s this weeks predictions.

Blackburn Rovers v Hull City

Blackburn snatched a late win at Goodison on Saturday which will be a welcome tonic for Paul Ince. Confidence will be high for their first home game of the season.

Hull will also be on a high following their winning start to the season last week. However I see this as the first of many lessons in the Premiership for Hull as they head back across the Pennines pointless.

Prediction : 2-1

Liverpool v Middlesbrough

The Champions-Elect started with a fine victory in the North East last week showing their class and why they are the favourites to dominate and ultimately win the League this season, and the computer has been kind to them, giving them the easiest possible opening at home.

“They” somehow fluked a win last week. How did that happen ??? I suppose it was due to Berbatov’s unsettledness and Spurs’ lack of gel (apart from on Bentley’s head). Never mind, normal service resumes this week and “they” will be destroyed at the Mecca

Prediction : 4-0

Newcastle United v Bolton Wanderers.

Newcastle picked up a creditable point last week at Old Trafford due to a much improved defensive display (for which I get no thanks, do I Kev ??) and this result will almost be seen as a win by the Toon Army.

Bolton made a great start to the season, however it has to be remembered this was only against Stoke, this seasons Derby. They will find it much tougher here and will leave empty handed

Prediction : 2-1

Stoke City v Aston Villa

Stoke learned a hard lesson about life in the Premiership last week by being soundly beaten by a team widely expected to struggle. It gets no easier for them this week in their first home game in the top flight.

Villa pulled off a great win last week and with all the new players coming in Martin O’Neill will have been glad to see Agbonlahor back amongst the goals. Villa will be looking at the top 6 this year. Away win.

Prediction : 1-3

Tottenham Hotspur v Sunderland

Spurs somehow lost to “them” last week and their loss of focus with the Berbatov situation needs to be sorted quickly otherwise the season can quickly slip away from them.

Sunderland were outclassed by Liverpool last week and were lucky to only escape with a 1 goal defeat. It will be a good game this one but I see home advantage working and Spurs just nicking it.

Prediction : 1-0

West Bromwich Albion v Everton

Albion got lucky in a way last week. They got one of their hardest games out of the way first and with Arsenal being rusty the scoreline was closer than it could have been. They will be relishing their first home game.

Everton suffered a surprising late loss last week. Something which will have definitely knocked the stuffing out of them. They will be looking to get their season started this week. But I see the home side getting something out of this game.

Prediction : 1-1

Fulham v Arsenal (KO 17:30)

Fulham suffered an opening defeat to Hull last week in a game they really should have won. Despite their investment they need to win those games in that mini league to make sure they do not struggle again. The last thing they needed after that was a top 4 side.

Arsenal should have won by much more than the solitary goal last week. The resolution of the Adebayor situation will have helped them no end and I can see them crossing the Thames with all 3 points.

Prediction : 0-2

Wigan Athletic v Chelsea (Sunday, KO 13:30)

Wigan had the look of the “long, hard season” last week and opening their home campaign against last season’s runners up will hardly inspire confidence. They need to pick up the pace and at least to try and get something out of the game so the season can start to get momentum

Chelsea looked awesome last weekend as they took apart Portsmouth. The addition of a couple of flair players and Scolari looks to have rejuvenated them and they will be serious contenders for the runners up spot. Nailed on away win.

Prediction : 1-3

Manchester City v West Ham (Sunday, KO 16:00)

The wheels seem to be coming off at City already and unless Sparky can settle things down quickly then City are another club who will have ground to make up on “worse teams”.

West Ham started the season with a home win and will be looking to turn the tables on City who won in London on the hammers first game of last season. I can see this ending in a draw.

Prediction : 1-1

Portsmouth v Manchester United (Monday, KO 20:00)

Portsmouth made the worst possible start last week and must be rueing the fact they have last seasons top 2 as their opening 2 games. The Cup Holders will have to dig deep to get their season started.

United have also stuttered so far however, and surprisingly it’s a lack of firepower that seems to be letting them down at the moment. For that reason I’m tipping Pompey to get something from this game.

Prediction : 1-1

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