Nice to see you again Keith, did you have a good summer?

Thanks yes, it was great, managed to relax a bit got away for a few days, wife tells me I’m a new man, much more chilled, much more content.

Business trips Keith ?

Err, no, Blackpool actually, same B&B as we had our honeymoon at

So no long haul flights to exotic climbs looking for players?

We got a coach from the bus station, now get to the flaming point will you ?

Sorry Keith. Anyway, people are concerned that we may not be lashing the cash as we used to, any comments?

Yes, that B&B cost a bloody fortune, we tried to make the complimentary biscuits last until tea time to save on lunches as well.

No Keith, I mean spending at the club

Look, can we change the subject please, I thought this was about my home life? Not the bloody club.

Yes, very true Keith, so I understand that you have taken up a new hobby, Golf?

Yes, some of the lads at the Dormans recommended it as a great way to get the stress out of the system, relax in the fresh air. I play on the municipal golf course at Ladgate lane, but I have to say, the greens are a bit worse for wear, need looking after better.

Oh right, they need a new keeper?

What ?

A Greenskeeper, man who looks after the greens, edges the bunkers, that sort of thing

You snide little sh*t I know what you meant, the people of Teesside will get the golf courses they can afford, well get this wrapped upside  your head bihatch….

Keith, no, put that 5 Iron down, relax………………….ayeyass that hurt stop it !