The madness of King Kev

For a change, Gareth Southgate was sipping a nice mug of Horlicks and getting an early night as the transfer window slammed shut. Elsewhere in the Premier League, all manner of insanity has broken out.

Where better to start than the circus up the road. There had been some murmurings that Newcastle were finally sorting themselves out. Kevin Keegan should have been content with four points from a tricky opening three games that included trips to Old Trafford and the Emirates. Yet, once again, internal politics erupted into the kind of public farce that Newcastle have turned into an art form.

The quality of Mike Ashley’s judgement made this situation almost inevitable. Downing pints in a replica shirt may convince some that he’s one of the masses, but the number labouring under that delusion has been falling for months. Ashley and his cohorts like ever Dennis Wise have attempted to run the club from London while Keegan has attempted to manage a football club in the traditional sense, isolated on Tyneside. The unedifying stalemate as both parties attempt to avoid compensation clauses has only added to the familiar air of chaos at St James’ Park.

That impasse has allowed Alan Curbishley to sneak ahead of Keegan in the race to be the first manager out of the door. Curbishley had plenty of detractors at West Ham and many of their criticisms were valid. The Hammers have hardly been thrilling under his tenure and sympathy over injury problems has to be tempered given the number of crocks he signed. He inexplicably made Nigel Quashie his first signing while Javier Mascherano sulked on the bench.

Yet all these gripes concern how Curbishley met his goals - West Ham’s board surely couldn’t have expected more. They stayed up in the face of all logic and justice. Consolidation was achieved the following year in an emphatically solid and unspectacular manner. He’s led them to their best start in years this season despite his squad being decimated beneath him by the board and discontent in the stands.

There’s not quite the same sense of disillusionment at the home of Manchester City, the place already dubbed Middle East-lands. Under the leadership of Thaksin Shinawatra, City were freewheeling to oblivion on Sunday evening. By Monday, they were the richest club in the league. Their new backers in Abu Dhabi out-Abramoviched the man himself to sign Robinho for a British record £32.5m. Even their failed pursuit of Dimitar Berbatov had the consolation of making their city rivals shell out an even more exorbitant fee.

Only a small minority seem to be showing any scepticism. To the outside observer, this all bears a striking similarity to Thaksin’s ill-fated acquisition of the club last summer, even down to the awkward questions about human rights violations. The suggestion is the transfers of Jo and Robinho, in addition to the sale of Vedran Corluka to Spurs, were all completed largely over the head of Mark Hughes - hardly an ideal way for a football club to operate. Few have stopped to consider how long the new owners’ largesse will last and what happens when they grow tired of their new plaything.

At times this week, these clubs have seemed to operate in a different league to Boro, whether that refers to financial might or the total absence of logic. Steve Gibson has delivered many spectacular moments as chairman - providing the backing for astonishing signings and unprecedented cup runs.

But Gibson’s main value to this club is no longer financial. Boro simply don’t have the fan base or historic status to absorb the kind of lunacy prevalent in other boardrooms across the land and emerge unscathed. In partnership with Southgate, the club has embarked on a new direction based on sober thought, giving more than cursory attention to the club’s long term future.

While our rivals are happy to welcome individuals condemned by Human Rights Watch and dim-witted cretins like Mike Ashley, Gibson’s club still seem to have some kind of grip on right and wrong. They don’t get it right every time. But you only have to look at the cut-price season tickets for kids, the new membership option for non-season ticket holders or the unwelcome smell of bacon at Ian Elliott’s house this morning to see evidence of a club that is at least trying to run things the right way. A club run for the fans by a fan - that might be something that even ADUG can’t put a price on.

Iggy Pop Barker