Well what a time it’s been for me since I last did this. It started so well with a fantastic comeback for the mighty reds, still top and looking unbeatable. Then I took a nice little break abroad and managed to find a nice fashion show - “It’s all gone Pete Thong”. I do love a good Thong. So fantastic fashion show and a chance to stock up. Picked up many a cheeky number for a great price - I’m looking forward to getting out on my Stevie G shaped lawn in the summer.  And now I can do it in leather or PVC, how goods that ?

Then I come back and realise what a big mistake it was leaving Jug Ears in charge. “Don’t worry” he says “I’ll look after your place whilst your away”.

He forgets to lock the shed, what on earth he wanted with the padlock and chain off the shed is beyond me. All my tools, gone - this neighbourhood has gone so far downhill it’s unreal. I may have to start a neighbourhood “watch”, I know that nice Des Lynam has a powerful telescope, that would be useful, he said from his house he can straight into Sue Barkers bedroom window. Jug Ears then gets it wrong with the top soil I ordered for the “Fernando” border round the back of the house, they just dumped it round the front, on the lawn. And guess where on the lawn? 

So I return with half a ton of crap all over Stevie G’s crotch and nothing to move it with. With B&Q closed I had to use my serving spoon. I spent all night spooning Stevie G - my arms were killing me. Have I mentioned the house is on a slope? Front lawns at the bottom, the Fernando border is round the back at the top. More bloody up hill gardening.  At least Fernando will feel the benefit in the long run.

Well back to the league this week - here are the predictions.

Middlesbrough v Chelsea (KO 12:45)

“They” fluked a last minute win last time out and that spoilt a perfectly good weekend. Still the nature of the opponent this time out means there will be no repeat of that thank you very much.

Chelsea are still flying high and look favourites to clinch the runners up spot in the league. They still look strong despite the loss of Anelka and will have no problems picking up and away win here.

Prediction : 0-3

Arsenal v Everton

Arsenal have hit the buffers in the last couple of games picking up only one point out of six and will be glad they had the international break to regroup. Even at this early stage of the season it is a must win game to stop the top 2 getting too far away.

Everton looked like they were starting to make progress last time, but fell back into their old habits and the usual fortress of Goodison is what is tripping them up this season. I see enough improvement in them t think they can get a point here.

Prediction : 1-1

Aston Villa v Portsmouth

Villa will be disappointed with the defeat at Chelsea last time out but will see this as a strong start to the season. Their home form is very strong and they will see that as the springboard to an assault on Europe this season.

Portsmouth have picked up after a difficult start to the season and are starting to re-launch their own bid to qualify for Europe next season. However they will find it hard to get anything from the West Midlands.

Prediction : 2-1

Bolton Wanderers v Blackburn Rovers

Bolton had a wonderful win the last time out but are still very up and down and it was only those 3 points that kept them out the bottom three.

Blackburn were well beaten by Man United the last time out but despite two heavy home defeats will be satisfied with their start to the season. It is difficult to part these Lancashire rivals at the moment so I will go for a draw.

Prediction : 1-1

Fulham v Sunderland

After an encouraging start Fulham have fallen back into old habits and are struggling again. They are another team who will have been glad for the international break.

Sunderland had a great point against Arsenal last time out and confidence will be high. Roy Keane will have his players fired up for this game. I can see only one result here - the points going back to the North East.

Prediction : 1-2

Liverpool v Wigan Athletic

The reds are looking fantastic and produced an amazing comeback last time out to send me on my holidays with my pecker up. They are looking like the champions-elect and I see nothing here to stop them.

Wigan couldn’t even beat “them” last time out, which totally undid the good work that had gone in the weeks before. The will be battered mercilessly here at the Mecca.

Prediction : 3-0

Manchester United v West Bromwich Albion (KO 17:30)

United were very impressive last time out and can only keep winning to try and force themselves back into the top four. They need to keep the intensity they have found and put the pressure on the teams above them.

The Baggies have won back to back games and will arrive at Old Trafford full of confidence. Tony Mowbray has made his side well organised and tough to beat, however I can see them leaving here empty handed.

Prediction : 2-0

Hull City v West Ham United (Sunday, KO 15:00)

Hull have made a fantastic start to the season and the points total so far is much more than Phil Brown could have imagined. Confidence will be sky high going into this game and they will strongly fancy their chances at home.

The hammers are the model of inconsistency but despite that sit at the heady heights of 6th in the league. However one concern will be the off field financial and Sheffield United issues and whether this will be translated onto the pitch. I’ll go for a draw.

Prediction : 1-1

Stoke City v Tottenham Hotspur (Sunday, KO 16:00)

Stoke are a gritty, battling side but are now starting to get found out on the class side. The have slipped into the bottom three and I wonder if they will be able to get back out again.

Spurs are better than being bottom. I know that no team are too good to go down but Spurs have the personnel to pull themselves out of the situation. I can see them getting the win here to give them something to build on.

Prediction : 1-2

Newcastle United v Manchester City (Monday, KO 20:00)

Newcastle picked up a great point last time out recovering from 2-0 down and for all the soap opera before the game Joe Kinnear seems to have instilled some fight and belief in the Geordies. He now has to get some home form to appease the fans.

City will have been devastated about how the last game finished and no amount of money can teach the players to hold onto a lead like that. It is up to Sparky to get that into the players to try and take advantage of the financial advantage they have. Draw for me.

Prediction : 1-1