God I feel awful. I will kill Jug Ears for getting me on the White Wine Spritzers with Babycham chasers. My head is still spinning, but what a fantastic party.The day started off so brightly too. That Don is a lovely addition to the village. He came round asking for money but with the credit crunch and most of my assets tied up in Irish Mince I refused. Then he mumbles something about “sorting out my windows” so I agreed. Since the infamous polaroid incident at the other end of the village, we have been without a window cleaner. I hope he is good at buffing.
Anyway onto the party and the best selection of tarts and vicars you are ever likely to see. The meal was fantastic. Even Scotty, who looks like he hasn’t had a decent meal in his life enjoyed it. Brummie’s idea to put 4 bottles of wine on every table was a good one and got everyone ready for the raffle and karaoke.
The only down side was when someone threw up in Mrs Slocombes “Michael Barrymore Memorial Pond”. Still could have been worse,Β god alone knows how sheΒ would have reacted if someone had thrown up on her “Graham Norton Special Pansies”.
Scotty won a prize in the raffle. Typical. Still I did laugh when it was a rubber chicken. He was not impressed and deposited it in the bowl of nacho’s and cheese on our table. Then Jug Ears brought out the babycham chasers and everything started going fuzzy. The karaoke was in full swing when I got the munchies and when for the nachos only to pick up the rubber chicken. So the night ended with me having Scotty’s cheesy cock in my mouth. Oh how we laughed.
Anyway, not long to Christmas, here’s the predictions and who is getting early presents of points.
Middlesbrough v Arsenal (KO 12:45)
“They” got a deserved defeat last week. Nice to see things starting to turn out the way I want with “them”. Reminds me, must send a “special” Christmas card to Mr Tanner for last week. “They” will be in rapid decline after today.
All of a sudden Arsenal have hit form and are putting a nice little run together. Is it too late for an assault on the title ? Probably in all honesty. Still my weekend gets off to a fantastic start watching an easy away win.
Prediction : 0-3
Aston Villa v Bolton Wanderers
Villa stole the win last week in a bizarre match and are now back in the hunt for the top 4. But if they are serious about looking to be a champions league side, this is the type of game they should be winning.
Bolton have been on a better run of late and pushed Chelsea harder than the scoreline suggests last week. As the division is so tight they know they need to keep pushing but I can see them just being edged out here.
Prediction : 2-1
Liverpool v Hull City
The mighty reds were merciless in their destruction on Blackburn last week. However the past 2 games at the Mecca they have failed to score and that is the only thing stopping the title race being over already. My Fernando we miss you ……
Hull got back to winning ways last week. It was only against “them” but they will have been glad of the points. Especially as they have mission impossible here and will be completely outplayed in another home win at the Mecca.
Prediction : 3-0
Manchester City v Everton
City are a really difficult team to predict at the moment. They have hit a rocky patch at home where they are usually strong and picked up and excellent point on their travels last week when their away form has been poor.
How much will that last gasp defeat last week hurt Everton ? Who knows. Their home form has been too patchy but Moyes will want to make sure they put it behind them at the first opportunity.
Prediction : 1-1
Stoke City v Fulham
Stoke’s home form has been the key to them not being in the drop zone. Thought going to places line Newcastle and picking up a point will do their confidence no harm. And Delap is always an attacking threat for them.
Fulham are in the middle of a good little run, but they have hit the buffers a little and are drawing games rather than winning them. They will be happy with top half after last season but I see them being pipped by the hosts here.
Prediction : 2-1
Sunderland v West Bromwich Albion
Sunderland would have been devastated to lose at Old Trafford so late last week, but I am always concerned when teams show absolutely nothing going forward. This is a must win game for them otherwise they are in real trouble.
The Baggies will look at this fixture and see it as a chance to close up with the rest of the division. They know Sunderland will be vulnerable and the crowd may well be nervous. I think they will be edged out here but The Stadium of Light will not be for the faint hearted
Prediction : 2-1
Wigan Athletic v Blackburn Rovers
Wigan were unfortunate to run into Arsenal last week after their recent purple patch and Steve Bruce will want them back on the rails sooner rather than later. They will not get a better opportunity for a hime win.
Blackburn are in complete disarray. Outplayed at home again last week and they are on the crest of a slump. It is difficult to know where Paul Ince goes from here but his position may be under threat if they lose this one too.
Prediction : 2-0
Tottenham Hotspur v Manchester United (KO 17:30)
Spurs got a big win last week at West Ham and it just about kept Harry’s revival on track. This ia true test for them this week as they are still dangerously close to the drop zone and will be determined to pull away as soon as they can.
United won - just - last week and will still feel they are in with an outside chance of the title especially if they win their game in hand. But they are “just” getting results and sooner or later not killing off teams will come back to haunt them and I fancy Spurs to get a point here.
Prediction : 1-1
Portsmouth v Newcastle United (Sunday, KO 13:30)
Pompey are so strong at home it is really difficult to bet against them. Add to this they will be smarting at failing to beat the basement team last week and they do not need any further motivation.
Newcastle are still deep in trouble and this was highlighted last week with their failure to beat Stoke. It will be a big worry that they are struggling at home as they are poor travellers and the jitters will be back after another away defeat here.
Prediction : 2-1
Chelsea v West Ham United (Sunday, KO 16:00)
Chelsea have been struggling at home all season, totally unlike them. They know they have to turn the corner at the bridge if they are to hang on to the runners up spot and will see this game as the ideal chance to get things going at home.
The hammers were poor last week and given the way some clubs go through managers Zola may be feeling a little bit of pressure and he will know that results elsewhere could see them in the drop zone. Dig deep hammers fans, it’s another defeat.
Prediction : 2-0