Well, well, well. What a fun week. It’s amazing how people treat you differently when you do something good. Word soon got around the village that I was a hero and helped the lanky poofter get out of captivity. He’s still over the moon about it all,  he said it was like being stuck in a bad episode of Prisoner Cell Block H.
So any how, on the back of  me being flavour of the month, that I decided to pay a visit to a few of the neighbours and they suddenly seemed more enthusiastic about buying some of my gear or contributing to Don’s beer fund. Think of “Avon with attitude” my for my little empire, I’d never sell gear to kids though, thats just plain wrong, it would be cutting our Biff out the market. Not nice. He needs all the cash he can get that lad to pay for his brief, he was on a suspended when he got caught shoplifting, told him they had beefed up the security in Pounstretcher as well………any roads like, I shifted enough gear to tell the missus if she wanted to spend a few bob on a shopping trip to London, she could. Great she said, always wanted to go the that big posh hotel , well there must be loads of the one she liked, yeah, Claridges, everywhere.  Cushty. I think I’ll see if their money is where their false teeth is and try and drum up some more  dosh this week.

Biff rang too, said he has some very hot stuff he needs to disappear quickly and luckily I know just the place for it. So I decided to visit Camp Cottage to make sure they were still going to hold up their end of the deal.

I spoke to Ears and he just nodded, said he had cleared the garage and ran off whimpering. I am worried, I am starting to like him as he is a “man” of his word. I always apply a simple test for my mates “would they get a round in in the Dormans” well yes he would, but I think the chances of getting a Malibu and milk in the doormans is thinner than Posh Spice in lent, and “would they standshoulder to shoulder  without outside the Navi taking on a load of West Hams finest” ? Unlike in this charcters case, he’d be about as much use in an”off” as Winnie the Friggin Pooh.

Anyway came to the door and said how happy he was I rescued him but is there any way we could call it quits. Not on your nelly matey boy, I am going to enjoy every minute of this and make sure he wishes he had still been in that cellar.

Got back and that daft bint of a wife has been at it again. Only gone and been raiding the catalogues. Came in and caught her opening all these clothes in various shades of purple. Claret everywhere. I told her to pack them back up. If it’s not Primark, she doesn’t get it. Maybe I’ll send her up to the chutney ferrets as part of their punishment.

Well time for old Don to shoot. Until next time, be lucky.