It’s Monday 25th May 2009, Gibbo is sat in his office at the Riverside contemplating the events of the day previous when Middlesbrough had been relegated from the Premier Leaugue to the Rola Cola Championship.
Gibbo’s desk phone rings and he answers -

Gibbo - Hello

Receptionist - Ere our Lad, I’ve got some foreign gadgie on fer ya, called air Itsfelt or summat sounds proper foreign like

Gibbo - Jesus Selina, can you not lose that Guisborough accent when you’re at work. Anyway put him through

>phone clicks<

Hitzfeld - Ahhh Herr Gibson, how are you ?

Gibbo - Yeah fine thanks, what can I do for you ?

Hitzfeld - Ha, I understand your futbal team haz been, how you say , derelegated….

Gibbo - And your point is ?

Hitzfeld - Now you are ready for ze Germans ya ?

Gibbo - No way sunshine, I’m sticking with Southgate.

Hitzfeld - You mean Mister Donkey head ?

Gibbo - I think you’ll find it’s horse face actually.

Hitzfeld - Sorry I do not understand

Gibbo - Never mind, as I’ve said before, no way is this club turning into Boro on the Rhine.

Hitzfeld - You vill not escape, you know ve vill take over your club, ve vill rename it Bayern Teesside, ve vill make you all speak in ze tongue of ze fatherland, ve vill….

Gibbo - Yeah whatever fritz, two world wars and one world cup sunshine, ta-ra

>Gibbo slams down the phone<

Another hour passes and Gibbo decides it’s time to call Southgate in to speak about formulating a plan for the next season ringing tone and then the phone is answered

Southgate’s Phone - Hello you’re through to the voicemail of Gareth Southgate, I’m not available at the moment

>Interrupted by sound of airport tannoy announcement<

“Last call for all passengers on flight 1935 to Outer Mongolia”

Gibbo - Gareth I know you’re there, stop pissing about you doyle

Southgate - Oh, hello Boss, sorry I thought it was someone else when the stadium number came up

Gibbo - You mean like that rough bird who runs catering you were caught with in the away dugout ?

Southgate - Errmm not sure what you’re talking about Boss

Gibbo - Anyway, are you in an airport ?

Southgate - Errmm might be, why ?

Gibbo - What do you f***ing mean might be ????? Where the f*** are you going ?????

Southgate - Just a short break that’s all…

Gibbo - F***ing short break, you cheeky bas***d. You’re f***ing off on bas***d holidays and I’m going on the local f**king radio tomorrow night to stand by you and f**king Kitboy even though you’ve f***ed the job up big style, you long noses t**t, how f***ing dare you ?

Southgate - Gaffer, your not happy are you ? Sorry , I just thought with the season ending and all that, you wouln’t need me back until the Friday before the first game

Gibbo - Unf***ingbelievable

Southgate - What ????

Gibbo - Anyway, go on piss off out of the country and I’ll sort everything out as I did last season sarcastically Anything you want me to mention regarding your sterling performance last season ?

Southgate - I’d rather you didn’t mention me to much Boss, you know what those fans are like, try a divertion tactic…….let me think………… I know, do the old punching above our weight, only a small town in Yorkshire bit but, and this will really give them something to keep them occupied, say something like, even in Stockton it’s full of Mackems……….

Gibbo - I like it Gareth, I like it, shall I say people from Billog are sweaty socks, your a f**ki………… ?

>click brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr<