Hello my fellow kebabers, it’s Dave here again proving that there is no link between fast food and early death otherwise I’d be doing this through that daft bint on Living TV. Mind you she already looks like she’s eaten me (Careful with those rumours - Ed).Been a strange sort of week, had so many voices in my head calling Gordon Brown an utter c**t, not that came as Ashok to me. Still it stopped at number 42 ….No sign of pasty boy, mind you Greggs is closed for refurbishment and I heard the internet was down for 3 days so I expect to find him a jibbering wreck outside the local Samaritans. I’ll toss him a Sausage Roll if I see him.I’ve tossed worse…..
Well I can hear the sound of trumpets so it’s someone coming through. It’s only ex Arsenal and England Midfielder David Roecastle”
“No, it’s not you stupid lardarse. It’sΒ the Ace Trumpeteer and TV star ROY CASTLE”
“Yeah, whatever David.”
“It’s Roy”.”Ah so it’s David Roy Castle as in Robin Van Persie?”
“No it’s Roy as in Roy you thick bastard. Anyway I’m chuffed they’ve put Norris next to me.”
“Wait, back up a sec, Norris is Dead. Does the pensionsers wank bank favourite Rita know ? I hope that Orange divvy doesn’t get the Kabin, f*****g oompah loompah.”
“No as in the bloke who I presented record breakers with you stupid c**t.”
“Wow Dave, you’re wound up too tight, need to chill now. Can we have some predictions ”
“For the last f*****g time, it’s Roy. Why can’t you get that into your thick skull?
Like me an Englishmans home is his castle, but the home teams with be struggling and I would back Home in Blue, away in green and plump for draws in those I haven’t covered. Or not.”
“Thanks Dave it’s been truly confusing”
“It’s Roy shit for brains, sod it I’m gone”
“No problem Dave, thanks for that thought I thought you would be more tuned onto the championship. Still one week we will get a coupon buster so I can pay off Messrs Khan, Lopez, Papadopolus and Yin and repay them for keeping me in the waistline to which I am accustomed. Toodles people……”